


Charm Noir

by snacc_noir



Series: Prompt me cowards: Tumblr Ficlets [5]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: (and why did i write this), Attempted Seduction, Chat gets put under a spell, Crack, F/M, Humor, LB is head over heels for chat, it's mutual ladynoir but lb doesn't know her feelings are reciprocated, oh my what will happen, oh yeah and HEAVY, this is from my requests on tumblr that i probably should have left on tumblr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:29:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26791423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snacc_noir/pseuds/snacc_noir
Summary: An akuma of seduction hits the wrong hero.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Series: Prompt me cowards: Tumblr Ficlets [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1738810
Comments: 4
Kudos: 109





	Charm Noir

**Author's Note:**

> *sighs and pinches bridge of my nose* read at your own risk
> 
> miraculously-purple asked: #12 L, ladynoir if possible?
> 
> 12\. “Are you- are you trying to seduce me right now?”  
> L. Adrienette joking rivalry, mutual Ladynoir in love AU

Couples.

Golden sand.

Warming skin and runny ice creams.

And oh look, an archaic akuma called The Enchantress flying on a cloud!

People had the most botched reasons for listening to a butterfly man and _yes_ , in Ladybug’s long-lived experience most were fair in terms of garnering extreme amounts of negative emotion - even this one! It was just—

“Your partner won’t pay you any mind, will they?! They like ignoring don’t they!? Oh you poor, sweet girls! _Not anymore_! _”_

The _powers_ , thereof, she had to _blanch_.

(Even if this one sounded like an advertisement.)

“Maybe you just didn’t have the charm,” Chat volleyed in the midst of the fight, in his suave, beautifully hilarious way. “I know my lady is never able to take her eyes off me!”

His gaze flickered to hers, that grin slipping through. Did he have to flirt and mess with her head like that in the middle of battle? Leave her up all night wondering if her beloved partner could’ve meant it?

She couldn't focus on that. They had duties.

And _oh_ , that’s right. They were also _acting_.

The Enchantress had started targeting couples, specifically ones that resembled her predicament: the potential for girl's attention from their partner being exchanged. Wordless picnics on the beach turned into hypnotic seductions with the uncontrolled parties pinned by targeted girlfriends whispering sweet nothings in flimsy clothes while incinerating their phone and other distractions. But now it had turned to any couple in sight on the beach with a new sever flavour - people were getting hurt.

Thus, here the duo were as a couple to lure The Enchantress into coming closer for a designed attack.

But it didn’t go as planned.

It didn’t-

It didn’t go at _all_.

The akuma readied the lipstick pistol at a crying girl nearby in the arms of her partner, fear in her eyes a beach ball dropped from her hands. In a panic to save the next victim, Ladybug shouted to draw the attention back,

“Hey! This guy isn’t paying attention to me! Help!”

Then, she ‘planned’ to doge the hits a few times, then also ‘planned’ to kick the hypnotist in the face a few _extra_ times, battle here and there until finally lucky-charming, winning, and bye-bye butterflying.

Sooo… that didn’t, quite, happen?

His intentions were lovely.

In attempts to help, the protective boyfriend (a.k.a where it all went wrong) pegged a beach ball at the swollen cloud floating under her feet. The lipstick pistol went flailing, the beam only just leaving it, and disappeared into the sand.

The beam did not.

The beam—specifically designed for a women to seduce—

missed Ladybug.

And hit-

 _Pffffffff_ and- and hit— (‘ _No! Quit it. It’s- it’s not funny! It’s- hnng it’s **not** ’) _

It hit Chat Noir.

The seducer beam literally hit Chat.

Now, at the time thinking about it, what could that possibly do? Given it was designed for a female, what if it simply didn’t work!? What if it turned him into a male seducer? What if—

_What if—_

No. Way.

“Hey darling, you look _purrfect_ ~”

–Chat Noir adorned in a black-spotted ladybug themed lingerie-style bikini set over his suit with knee-high stockings and eyeliner.

No.

No. No, she couldn’t. She wouldn’t. This wasn’t part of the job description. Nup. She was about to have a _fit_.

Because this was _too hilarious._

“Get. Out.” 

The way her mouth fell mirrored the faces of the ball-thrower boy _and_ The Enchantress.

Meanwhile, Chat... Allure? Charm Noir? had all paws in the sand (‘ _Oh my goodness **his claws are done** ’_), stalking closer in a skilful, predatory sense which Ladybug backed away from, hand over her gaping mouth taking up most her face.

Then she laughed.

An ugly, broken, cackle of a choked throat and sore gut laugh that filled the entirety of that beach area - even distracting those in mid-seduction. It was loud, cracking, and air-stealing. The akuma didn’t have the _power_ whatsoever to even _dare_ stop the fit she was in.

She only had one conscious thought:

‘ _Please. Please let there be paparazzi around_.’

(If Chat thought _heels_ were bad, great skies…)

“Ladybug?”

Chat almost looked like Chat again for a second; or _sounded_ , at least, but she glanced up from the moisture in her eyes and saw no, he did not. And she was back in her fit on the uneven ground.

“What’s amusing, beautiful?”

Dangerously, he was stalking closer. (Listen to how much stuffs she gave: Cackles echoed once more.)

But then his body felt near, and his silhouette blurred between the slits of her weeping sight as she calmed down. Managing herself to steady breathing, he found his mark directly atop her, gleaming down with a grin (pink lip gloss? He had lip gloss too??) uncomfortably familiar on a body so obviously mind-controlled.

“Are you-” she choked out (first words that weren’t strained: go her), “Are you trying to _seduce_ me right now? Is this seducing?”

The last part was aimed at The Enchantress, who had lost her weapon in the sand (didn’t seem she was too concerned anyway) and was staring baldy like she was figuring out how much bafflement and embarassment she could fit in one expression.

Chat lifted her chin by a red-painted finger. “Look at me, bug.”

Okay. Yes, this _was_ ridiculous,

But that _tone_ though-

...She obeyed.

“Why do you laugh and ignore me? Why don’t you like my attention?” His elbows crouched, hurting the kind distance between their faces. “Adore me. Adore what I have to give. I am _yours_.”

Something twinged in her chest. This was still Chat - the guy she stalked the Ladyblog for just to ogle him when the pin-ups around her room needed an update - and her _partner_. He was brain-washed to give himself to her. In his right mind, she didn’t even know if he liked a back even a _little_.

So she couldn’t enjoy any of what this was.

The glossed lips dipped to the corner of her mouth.

She stiffened.

“Let me adore you.”

Embarrassingly still under his domain, his lips drifted across her cheek, down her chin, and reached her jawbone. He feathered kisses up, nearing her ear as that scent she was beginning to notice strengthened, causing her eyelids to wilt and ministrations feel more pleasurable - a nice smell that over time—

Wait.

His mouth closed around her left earlobe; specifically, the jewellery he found there. Ladybug kicked up and sent him in all his bikini glory across the sand. She heaved in the fresh salt-touched air to clear the seductive effects and lashed her yo-yo.

The Enchantress had retrieved her weapon from the sand and made a shrill that could rival Chloé’s noticing Ladybug’s escape, the sound rippling a wave of winces.

Ladybug shook her head of the spell.

Right. Akuma. Plan thing. Lucky charm.

Undoing Chat’s new fashion statement.

She went back on course, calling her power and utilising nearby beach toys as she dodged Chat’s chase. Ladybug continued the last of the battle in a wild set of endeavours she’d think about for the rest of her life.

Her partner returned in a “ _Miraculous Ladybug!_ ” undoing, and couldn’t understand why she had trouble keeping in giggles when he asked if he made a good seducer.

It was definitely one of the more… interesting battles. But most importantly-

The _utmost_ of significance-

The beach ball guy had gotten a photo. A _multitude_ , in fact. And every single one would be going on the bottom of her trap door.

So in the end, he really was a hero.

**Author's Note:**

> you should've seen my face when i scrolled through my [ tumblr](https://snacc-noir.tumblr.com/) writing tag and saw this - completely and utter BLISSFULLY forgetting i had wrote it. i was gobsmacked, jaw-slacked, and, just, embarrassed. 
> 
> i had to post it


End file.
